Mandy Catto

God has recently taken me on a journey which began with a desire to see my two boys (aged 6 and 4) grow up to have a positive experience of God and a personal faith in Him. This was borne out of one overriding concern of mine….my boys don’t like church! We have visited a number of churches over the years and this dislike of church is most certainly not confined to any particular ‘type’ of church.

Understandably this concerned me. Whilst thinking and praying about this God reminded me of 2 boys whose family attended my church when I was in my late teens. These boys parents took the boys to church every Sunday morning and night. The problem was that the Sunday night service was not child friendly, it was aimed at adults. I have a vivid picture in my head of these two boys (who were probably similar ages to my children now) sat in church quite frankly bored out of their minds! I can imagine what they were feeling, that Sunday night feeling of dread as it was school the following morning. That feeling of boredom, and not wanting to be there! The problem is that what may well have happened with those boys is that those negative feelings become associated with God! We can all associate a song or a smell with a particularly happy or sad time. Associations can invoke powerful responses in us. For me the word Christmas fills me with delight, I can ‘feel’ the happiness, fun, laughter, good food, family time that this time of year brings for someone else this exact same word fills them with loneliness, sadness and dread! What I don’t want for my boys is the word ‘God’ to have negative associations. I don’t want the word ‘God’ to invoke feelings of boredom and frustration.

Around this time I read Michele Guinness’ book ‘The Heavenly Party’. In this fabulous book Michele talks about her move from the celebrations and parties that were part of her Jewish upbringing, and making the transition to a Christian faith, which to be frank at times can lack in the sense of celebration! Michele talks about her own desire to create a spiritual environment that nurtures not stifles a child’s faith. Providing something for our children that makes them want to turn off the TV/Wii/DS. She beautifully describes it as ‘providing a rich and colourful context within which faith can blossom’. This is what I want to create for my boys!
Michelle talks about bringing celebration and parties back into the home and community.

With this in mind I was on a mission! My husband and I decided that as well as the Church stuff we attend we would bring church to our home! On Sundays at tea time we have a nice meal, we eat in the dining room rather then the kitchen, we light candles, open the wine (for the adults!) the kids are allowed fuzzy drinks! We have our own celebration. We talk about what’s been good and bad about the week that’s gone, and what’s happening in the week ahead. We talk about any worries we might have. It’s a great opportunity to sit as a family, share and pray. Granted our kids are only little so often we have requests to pray for poo! We then read a short Bible story, talk about it briefly (David and Goliath…little people can do big things) then we put some kids worship songs on and dance around the dining room like complete idiots! The kids love it. What I hope is that when my Children think of God they think fun, love, security, good food, laughter and comfort. When I stand before God I will be responsible for my children’s spiritual growth. It won’t cut it to say that Sunday school didn’t relate to them, or the material that was used wasn’t great. It’s MY responsibility to ensure that my children grow up feeling Gods love. So mums out there join me on a journey of discovery. Let me know what you do at home, let’s share ideas and invest in our kids futures.
xx

“Well I’ve heard it all before, cranky people at my door
With their pious smiles and frumpy clothes that made my eyes sore
Well they said I must repent, wasn’t quite sure what that meant
But I need someone who will help me with my life,
Someone who can sort out my boss, my debts, my wife.
I need someone who’ll understand what I’m going through
Not some crazy myth that comforts you.”
© Julia Bradley

Over the years, the Activate Your Life team have aimed to include issues in our weekends away that are relevant to today’s woman; issues that many women would express the need for help and support with.

Recently, I came across an article that I feel effectively explains why this is so important.

Below is an extract. The full article can be found at http://www.internetevangelismday.com/felt-needs.php

Felt needs: A biblical way to open closed minds
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28
The concept of ministering to people’s ‘felt needs’ is sometimes misunderstood. “Surely we should be speaking to their real spiritual needs?” is a potential criticism and valid question. But what are ‘felt needs’? A felt need is something in any area of my life that I perceive as a need. They can include loneliness, managing relationships, relationship breakdown and divorce, family and parenting, money worries, debt, finding fulfilment, coping with stress and worry, workplace problems, unemployment, physical or mental illness and bereavement.
Evidently at any one time, about one in three people are feeling a moderate to severe level of pain. For many people, there may be no specific answer. For example, a family worried about a serviceman or woman serving in a war zone is not looking for answers, just love, support and understanding.
The Bible speaks from beginning to end of God’s compassion for those who are hurting. Jesus’ invitation in Matthew 11:28-30 is an appeal, and a promise, to those who are struggling with any life issue. The yoke imagery is about no longer pulling your load alone, but having a second haulage animal harnessed with you. For many lasting adult conversions to Christianity, the trigger that started them on their spiritual journey was a life crisis.
None of the needs listed above may be what we might call ‘core spiritual issues’: sinfulness, fallen human nature, rebellion against God, and the need for salvation, though many of them are impacted by sin and our self-centred nature. But they are precisely the amplifier that God very often uses to begin a process that ends in conversion. Felt needs can then be seen as a way in, a first step on the road. At a later stage, the full and balanced Gospel can be shared.
Is it biblical?
If we look at the different encounters that Jesus had with people, in almost every case he first addressed a felt need. In many situations, the overwhelming need of sickness was met by healing, often followed by ‘spiritual’ advice (even though that was not always apparently taken). His starting point in spoken evangelism was never scriptural exposition except when preaching in the synagogue. Instead, he used the medium of story-telling.

How did Jesus treat the woman at the well? First, he asked for a drink. This was the beginning of an interesting conversation. Following a brief discussion about living water, Jesus put His finger on both the need and problem area of her life. Without judging her in any way He told her that He knew she was living with a man who wasn’t her husband and that she had already had five husbands. Jesus knew this woman’s deepest need – her need for acceptance – and when He met it she believed in Him. Whether a person’s need was physical, social, emotional or spiritual, Jesus always met each individual where he was in terms of his or her spiritual understanding and always started at their point of felt need.

Some Christians may still feel concerned that starting with felt needs is somehow promoting a ‘me-centred gospel’. And we should be rightly concerned about any presentation of the gospel which is merely, for instance, “Come to Jesus and be a more successful business-person.” Or, indeed, the dishonest and untrue “Come to Jesus and all your problems will be instantly solved.” A balanced and biblical presentation of the gospel contains a number of strands, and as someone gets closer to a point of commitment, will include what God-centred discipleship really means.
One problem many Christians struggle with is that they feel we need to minister to a person’s real needs, which they usually interpret as being a spiritual need. This is to ignore the fact that God is interested not only in a person’s spiritual life, but in his total person (James 2:14-17). It also fails to understand that the felt needs or perceived needs are at the conscious level of a person’s mind while his real needs spiritual or otherwise – are usually at the subconscious level.
Therefore, an effective way to reach the real needs, whatever they are, is through the felt needs. It is the felt needs that lead to the real needs. As the conscious felt needs are faced and met, other needs will rise to the level of awareness and in turn become felt needs. As these are faced and met, eventually the real needs will surface to consciousness and in turn become felt needs. Then they can be dealt with and met.
To ignore a person’s felt needs and aim at the other may well keep the listener’s mind closed to our message. If they sense that we don’t have the answers to their felt needs, their mind may close again to us and they will probably look elsewhere for a solution.
Felt needs as a starting point for compassionate sensitive evangelism is a biblical strategy, and an effective way of reaching people for Jesus.

I’ve just heard the title track (all 12 seconds of it) from Alicia Keys latest album. I was so struck by it that I’ve added it to the growing number of quotes in my email signature.

“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight and closed in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom. This is the element of freedom.”

That’s it. Just 12 seconds of her speaking. But what powerful words!

Yesterday I was struck by a choice I often seem to have to make. My status on Facebook said ” Caroline is resisting the urge to take a long walk down Self Pity Avenue!” It was the first day back at work for me and school for my daughter, the alarm went off and the last thing I wanted to do was get out of bed and face the challenges of this next term.

I often wonder how I can tell the difference between necessary times of being honest about my struggles and my pain and times where I begin to meander into self pity. I doubt there’s a definitive answer but today, I read a little something by Jeff Lucas that helped me understand a bit more:

“Heroes make hard choices: they cry but refuse to allow their tears to blind them. They refuse to stop loving, they don’t give up on giving and won’t let their lives be preoccupied by their own pain. And in giving grace they find an endless supply of it. The oil doesn’t run dry.”

So while I’m being honest about my struggles I think I need to remember to take the risk to open up and bloom instead of staying tightly closed in my bud (or bed!)

When I first started buying Fairtrade products I did it because I knew it was the ethical thing to do and I rarely enjoyed the products – the coffee and chocolate tasted pretty grim! How things have changed in the last ten years! Buying fairly traded goods is a tasty and relatively easy option as more and more shops and manufacturers are going for the big ‘FT’ badge. I love Divine chocolate bars, I cheered loudly when Cadbury’s Dairy Milk joined the club and I have just heard that Ben and Jerry’s icecream and KitKats are about to go 100%.
Despite the products sometimes being a few pence more expensive, public loyalty to Fairtrade in 2009’s tough economic climate has lead to double digit growth as Fairtrade sales reach £800m.

Fairtrade Fortnight 2010 runs from 22nd February until 7th March. You can get some useful and up-to-date information on the FairTrade website – www.fairtrade.org.uk
Traidcraft are also asking supporters to make the most of this time and are focusing on tea. They are encouraging people to hold Big Brew events and serve Fairtrade tea and coffee and make donations to make a difference to tea producers’ lives. There are currently 200 Big Brews happening, where 19055 cups of Fairtrade tea and coffee will be served and £11603 is expected to be raised.
www.traidcraft.co.uk
This might be the perfect opportunity to ask your neighbours round for an informal event. Or maybe send a quick text round the friends you have as contacts on your mobile and invite them for a cuppa next week, it doesn’t have to be in a perfect house with home bakes. Most people would be delighted with a hot drink, a flapjack or some chunks of chocolate and a warm welcome. For those with daytime work commitments an evening get together might be a better option – traidcraft make some good fairtrade wine before finishing off the evening with the Big Brew style cup of tea.
We have some exciting news about our favourite fairly traded jewellery supplier, Achkiy – they are almost ready to launch their new website. You can be sure that we will give you the details here as soon as we have them.