If you’d rather listen, click below for a 5-min reading:
The calendar tells us it’s time for round-ups, recaps, and resolutions. It’s January 2025, and the world is telling us to prioritise our physical and mental health.
If setting goals and making plans is something that fills you with joy, then go ahead! The Bible offers a balanced approach that includes making plans with wisdom and humility. Proverbs offers this advice: ‘The plans of the diligent lead to profit’ (Proverbs 21:5). It also warns against laziness and skiving off work (Proverbs 6: 6-11). However, James 4:15 reminds us that, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that’. So, while it is good to make plans, we need to avoid self-sufficiency and recognise God is in control.
Others get nostalgic or keen to celebrate the successes of 2024. This has so many benefits and reminds us to be thankful. However, it can also lead down a slippery slope of comparison and feelings of inadequacy or, conversely, feelings of self-sufficiency and self-importance.
Something’s not working with all this positivity and self-reliance. Anxiety levels are at an all-time high. Many of us fear the doorbell ringing and an impromptu drop-in from a friend because we can’t bear for them to see the state of our houses when we’re unprepared for company. We can’t let people see us for the slobs we really are. Our phones ring, and we stare at them, willing them to stop – how on earth could we muster up any sparkling small talk? In Japan, smiling lessons are being booked by those who have forgotten how to make the appropriate facial expressions without a mask. What would our grandparents think of all this cowardice and pride?
There’s a common theme to all this: trusting our own strength and power and not Jesus’ power and purposes in our lives. As Tim Keller puts it, ‘Many of our deepest longings to succeed are really just ways to be for ourselves what Christ should be for us. Really, we are saying, “If I achieve this, then I am acceptable!”**
As for me, may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross, my interest in this world has been crucified, and the world’s interest in me has died.’ (Galatians 6:14)
This January, I choose not to dwell on looking forward or back. I’m too pessimistic to believe I can keep resolutions but also too pragmatic for lofty ideals when I type this next to a pile of washing with a greasy air fryer in the sink.
Some things have prompted me to realise that I’m better off looking sideways at the people around me and the places and situations at arm’s reach (washing-up included). The good news is that it’s not a defeatist approach; it’s part of human nature and can be part of God’s plan for our communities and friendships to thrive.
I recently read a classroom management book that points out that children are naturally way more interested in looking sideways – watching each other and how their classmates respond to things, than in most things you might say or do as you attempt to teach them. ‘People are fascinating to people’*.
The same goes for adults – put a group of coworkers in a room together, and we’re desperate to glance at our work buddy to see how they respond to something silly the presenter says. How many of us scroll the comments section under Instagram reels to see if someone else found the same phrase hilarious? And why is Channel 4’s Gogglebox such a successful format? I don’t care what the particular clip is about or whether I watch the programmes they watch, I care how they respond and if they think the same way I do.
Looking sideways is way more fun than treading a solo path towards success. It’s also sacrificial – those who stop and chat know they will need to catch up on essential tasks at some point but don’t want to be so ruled by the resolutions and to-do lists that they lose sight of the needs around them.
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labour. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
If I can be fascinated by what strangers on Gogglebox think, my curiosity can surely extend to others I don’t know. As we look sideways – to the people who work, park, or live next to us – I pray we can share something of God’s love in how we communicate and behave towards them.
Use your heads as you live and work among outsiders. Don’t miss a trick. Make the most of every opportunity. Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out. (Colossians 4:5, MSG)
For many, looking sideways this January may mean staring at an empty chair, a hospital bed, or a place we don’t want to be. Goal-setting, resolutions and long-term plans are far from our minds – we just want to make it through the next hour, the next day. I pray you will find comfort in the words of Isaiah:
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.’ (Isaiah 41:10)
May our sideways glances see through walls, silence, and past hurts to allow access to comfort each other as we walk, run, or crawl into a new year together.
*Chapter 7, Running the Room: The Teacher’s Guide to Behaviour, by Tom Bennett
** The Prodigal Prophet: Jonah and the Mystery of God’s Mercy, by Tim Keller
Bible verses are from the New International Version unless stated otherwise